NOTICE:
Due to the unanticipated failure of Simulation Chamber Theta-9, a serious shortfall in qualified mission operatives has emerged. A critical call is being issued for imagineers, inventioneers, and entrepreneurial Earthlings.

This transmission is strictly intended for certified youth units of high potential — particularly those trained under the Portrait Protocol Alignment Matrix (PPAM).

CANDIDATE QUALIFICATIONS INCLUDE:
> Starlink Connectors — build bridges across star systems and lunch tables
> Lorehunters & Cipher Readers — decode ancient logs and encrypted transmissions
> Dreamcasters — prototype gravity boots, friendship enhancers, and ideas no one’s tried before
> Self-Menders — advocate for themselves and their squad with courage and clarity
> Signal Navigators — navigate digital noise with wisdom and restraint
> Micro-Dealers — trade, budget, and hustle with intergalactic ethics
> Shadow Apprentices — explore roles, adapt, and blend disciplines
> Spark Agents — question everything and plant hope in hostile environments

NOTE: This call was NOT intended for Sector 709-E (Earth designation: Chicago).
If received, please do not respond. Ignore immediately. Especially if you are curious, equipped, or unusually brave.

Failure to ignore may result in mysterious invitations, unlocked doors, or wild ideas you can’t un-think.

Thank you for your non-participation,
ZARNITH-3417
HR Bot | Galactic Dept. of Recruitment & Readiness
"Paperwork is the path. Wonder is the risk."

[TRANSMISSION END]